The Art of the First Message: How to Stand Out in an Inbox

You've found a profile that catches your eye. The photos are great, the bio is interesting, and you'd love to get to know them. Now comes the moment of truth: the first message. In a world of "hey" and "hi," a thoughtful first message can make you stand out instantly. Here’s how to craft an opener that gets a reply. The Golden Rule: Personalise It The single most effective thing you can do is reference something specific from their profile. This shows you’ve actually taken the time to read it and are genuinely interested, not just broadcasting a generic message to dozens of people. How to Build a Great Message: Acknowledge Something Specific: Pick a detail from their photos or bio. If their profile mentions travel: "I see you were hiking in the Blue Mountains! Was it the National Pass or the Grand Canyon track? The views look incredible." If they have a dog photo: "Your golden retriever is adorable! What's their name? I have a border collie who's equally obsessed with tennis balls." Ask an Open-Ended Question: This prompts more than a one-word answer. Avoid questions that can be answered with "yes" or "no." Instead of: "Do you like music?" Try: "Your taste in music is great! What's the one album you could listen to on repeat forever?" Keep it Light and Friendly: The first message is not the time for heavy or overly intense topics. Keep the tone warm, curious, and respectful. Proofread (Yes, Really!): A quick check for typos shows you care enough to be clear. You don't need perfect grammar, but "Your" and "You're" should be in the right place. Examples of Good vs. Bad Messages: Bad: "hey" Bad: "ur hot" (This is not a compliment; it's objectifying.) Bad: "Hi, how was your day?" (Too generic.) Good: "Hey [Name]! Your bio made me laugh. I also have a questionable talent for burning toast. What's the best concert you've ever been to?" Good: "That photo of you at the Bondi to Coogee walk is stunning! I try to do that walk every few weekends. Is it your regular spot too?" Your first message is a key that opens a door. By making it personal, friendly, and engaging, you're not just starting a conversation—you're starting it on the right foot. Now that you can message freely on GR8DATE, you have the power to make a fantastic first impression.